The Little Post About Little Things

I find myself getting easily frustrated over the little things.  Tiny stuff like the fact that I can't take my books to work with me and read them on my breaks; and yet 3 people at my job pull out there bibles every break to compare notes or point out something they found interesting in their reading (like do dragon's exist? they are mentioned in the bible).  I don't begrudge them that, I even enjoy listening to them debate...sometimes...  It's just the simple fact that I in turn cannot sit quietly in a corner and read a book about wicca.  Technically I can; but logically I can't because I need my job.  Small issues like feeling like I have to watch everything I say so carefully or I might just sound like the person I am becoming. 

But today I woke up early enough to see the sun rise, and then I decided to take a walk.  On this walk I came across two fawns.  When things like this happen, when I see something no one else sees, experience something in a way I know is uniquely mine; I don't feel so frustrated by the little things, because I have my own small wonders to enjoy.   It's not even about forgetting the little things and looking at the big picture, it's about recognizing my own tiny privileges. 

This is the situation I am in, and it's not one I will be in forever.  So, as usual, I have to remind myself to be patient. 

Lovely Litha Everyone

(Yes, on my walk I passed a cemetery and that is where I saw them, it wasn't exactly part of the plan.)

Dedication

My self-dedication was set for the night of my birthday.  Then a family member set their wedding for the day before my birthday; no big deal, except they live out of state, so it brought up a situation.  My husband wanted to go very badly, it's his family and he wanted to see them; I felt I was in a situation where neither of us could win without the other one being a jerk.  If we went to the wedding, that would be my husband saying "It's my family and what I want to do, that's more important that your deeply personal ritual that you have been planning for almost a year."  If we stayed it would be like me saying, "No, what I planned is more important than your cousins wedding and what you want."  So it was a very difficult decision to make because neither of us wanted to be the bad guy.

So, the deal we struck was, both, I will be back home befor dark on my birthday.  Yeah, obvious answer was, if neither of us can be happy with one choice then we just have to find a way to do both. 

Which leads me to one of the reasons there are so many posts today and no posts for the past few weeks.  There was just so much going on getting ready for both things.  

So after a record time run out of state and back in a day and a half; today is my birthday and I am dedicated officially onto the wiccan path.  I want to give a special thanks to all my friends who have supported me, and an extra special thanks to my hubby who was nice enough to clear out of our house and invade Nina's kitchen to make me brithday brownies while I did my dedication.  

Telling Mama-K

Since my husbands siblings come down for 2 weeks out of the summer, and because my altar and book collection is growing.  I felt I needed to have a discussion with his mother (who I love very much) about wicca before they come down.   I am not afraid of her knowing, she is pretty open minded, all around great lady; I feel like she should have a choice in how much her kids are exposed to.  I don't mind putting all my supplies inside my alter while they are here, I already keep my books in a closed bookshelf, and I do my rituals and meditation alone.  It's just that since they are teens, I didn't want them running back home talking about it and her to suddenly think that I am trying to teach them how to be wiccan. 

It was important to me to do this in person and not over the phone. So yesterday while we were up visiting, I got a chance to take her aside with my husband and talk about it.  Here is one piece of advice I will give anyone thinking of telling friends and family members that they are now pagan.  Be prepared to here this question for everyone, even the most open minded of people, "huh...why did you decide to do that?"  

That question takes me back every time I hear it, because the obvious answers is, "Because it's what I believe in..."  

For the most part it went very well; she doesn't want the kids to know at all yet, they are both teens, so that is not a problem.  My husband will just have to take them out somewhere while I do ritual if they happen to be here on a sabbat or esbat. 

The only thing she said that really rubbed me the wrong way was, "no no, that's fine, I it's ok if that's what you believe.  But you can't do magik, that just opens you up to bad stuff, so just don't do magik and we are fine."  See, I don't like being limited, or told how much of my religion I can believe in or participate in.   I just don't feel this is an issue I need to argue with her about since to be honest, I'm not very interested in doing any big magik.  Basically what I explained to her was, my personal rule is that I don't do anything magikal that I can't accomplish on my own.   I don't do anything that would require me to ask something else for help, or for a favor of some kind.  I can do divination, I can cleanse items, I can charge items, and there are small magik things I could do; I just won't be asking any deities for something huge. Not that doing magik is something I am even sure I am interested in for sure; sometimes I just feel the need to draw my boundaries before someone else draws them for me.

Anyway, long story not quite short, the talk with her went well.  I was nervous about it, but it turned out good.  And in time, when she has had more chances to ask questions, I think it will be a very good thing. 

Bette: Sports, Spells, And Superstition

Oddly enough, the first person who has asked me to do anything remotely spell-involving, is Bette. I am not at the point of actually practicing magik, I mostly do tarot and other divination. 

She was talking about how she had a shirt that she couldn't wear because when she wears it (or even takes it out of the closet) her sports team looses.  "It's total bad luck, and I am afraid to even give it away because it's bad luck."  So I jokingly said that I could cleanse it.  She got a lot more excited about it than I thought she would.  I also found out why it was bad luck to start with, from the moment she bought it she was already thinking 'this one won't be as good as my old one'. 

So the first cleansing I have ever done for anyone goes to Bette.  To cleanse the negative energies she has put into the shirt by deciding it was bad luck. 

Now the tricky part is, I can cleanse the shirt, bring it to neutral again (because I'm not putting any actual spell on it) but if she takes it back thinking "oh look, my bad luck shirt that isn't as good as my old one" then it won't matter at all.  So before I even put the energy into doing this I have to know that she believes it will be the best most fantastic shirt the world has ever known when she get's it back from me.  Which she has promised to try to do... 

So now I have brought the shirt back to neutral and feel sure that it has no residual negativity left on it.  All there is to do now is get it back to Bette, the rest is up to her.