While partying 2 weeks back, I had a bit more to drink than normal for me as a result, I began trying to explain to Nina that she doesn't need to be afraid of me. I started saying things like, "You know that even if we don't believe the same thing, you know I would never bring anything into your house you don't want. I'm just so worried that you are afraid of me."
Nina laughed, and her answer was, "I'm not afraid of you, I love you, I really want to talk to you about this... but can we talk when we are sober?"
The past few weeks have been busy, I am still looking forward to this conversation. She keeps reminding me about it as well. I am nervous about it but excited at the same time. The way I see it, the conversation will go one of a few ways; I will find out that I have been worried over nothing, that I have been oversensitive about her reaction, or a chance to make more sense of it. All in all I see this as a positive opportunity.
It really means a lot to me that she wants to talk more about it; I don't need her to agree with me, I just need to know we have asked all the questions we needed to ask. Growing up, there wasn't much opportunity for things like, I lived in a type of silence. If it was something the other person wouldn't understand that was it, there was no negotiation, it was not talked about again. There was no room for questions where I was raised, questions meant doubt, doubt was a lack of faith, lack of faith was unacceptable and a slap in the face of god. So I am just glad that I get a chance to talk with Nina soon, even if it means we argue a little, because it shows that we care enough about each other to try to see it their way.
No comments:
Post a Comment