Nina: Alternate Reality Check

When I first started telling my friends, I was very nervous.  But in time I got used to people accepting it without really changing their opinions of me.  I told Nina, asked her if she would still be my friend, and told her any questions she had I would answer.  Her first answer she was fine, she would love me no matter what I was.  About 2 weeks later she came back with the following questions: 

1. Does this mean you don't believe in god?
2. Do you like me less because I am christian and you are not?  
3. Do you curse people? I mean if I get you mad will you make something bad happen to me?
4. Do you do sacrifices and stuff with blood?  
5. Will you be doing drugs and having orgies and stuff?  


These questions came about because she had talked to some people at her church and asked them if they knew anything about wicca.  The answer she got was, "I don't know anything about wicca, I haven't heard about it before or anything, but if it's not christianity you should be worried."  And so she worried.

Before I put out my answers to the questions asked, I want to explain my friendship with Nina.  I had known her for 7 years at this point, and it was one of those friendships where we talk about anything right off the top of our heads.  We are very much like sisters, she lives downstairs from me and we see each other all the time, she gets upset if we don't see each other for more than 2 days on end.  So I only expected one or two of these questions, the rest were a complete shock to me, luckily it didn't sink in that I could be offended until a few hours after I had answered her.

Now for the answers:

1. It's not that I don't believe, I believe in a different way, I experience it differently and view it differently.  
2. No. I am happy you have faith in something that makes you happy, that's all that matters to me, you have something that gives you hope and keeps you out of trouble.  Just because I believe something is right for me doesn't mean I think it's what everyone needs to be right.  
3. No, I don't actually practice magik right now and if I did, I would not be cursing anyone.  One, you know me, I am not hateful like that, and two, like most things in life it comes back to haunt you or bite you in the ass.  
4. No, no no no, and no.  I do not kill things, I do not mess with blood.  There are offerings of bread and drink, but nothing like offering a life.  
5. No, I won't be doing anything like that, I have no desire to take drugs and throw myself around.  I don't think that is how I will find peace or enlightenment.   

After I answered her she calmed down a lot.   

A little later  it sunk in that if Nina, knowing me for so long and so well, could be blindsided by these thoughts and concerns.  What might a complete stranger automatically assume of me?  I talked to Nina and her husband and told them, "If you are worried about me and want to pray for me that's fine, I'm not offended.  If you want your church and other groups to pray for me that is fine too, but please don't give them my name or where I live.  It's a safety issue."  They agreed to that, their church is praying for Nina's friend and that doesn't bother me, prayer can be a very good thing. 
But this got Nina worried because she couldn't remember if she had said my name already, I told her not to worry over it, so she recited about everything she had said to anyone about it (because now she had it stuck in her head that she was going to get me killed no matter how much I told her it wasn't a problem and they probably didn't remember my name from one light mention) and one thing stuck out to me, she said, "I think I've been a very good christian, because I am being loving and not judgmental of my friend who is in a religion that is obviously wrong, but I am just being loving to her and hoping that can show her my good example".   Now on the face of it, it sounds very condescending.  But, bear in mind, this is the best I can expect from most people of other religions; I was raised in christianity and I know they are taught that their way is the one and only way, that if they love someone they will do everything in their power to ensure that they come back to their way.  That is their religion, that is what we have to understand, there was no room made in their religion to accept other faiths.  True, I talked about my husband and he looks at it differently, but in general this is what you have.  I have to accept and realize the huge step it takes for a christian (or people of othe like faiths) to be willing to tolerate and love me, because they won't like my faith, but the huge step for them to see it as my choice and hold themselves back no matter how much they want to 'save' me, is something I am learning to respect.  

Now, for my own confession, after they left the 'more holy than thou' had sunk in on me so I repeated it to my husband, and followed with, "I would like to just say, I think I am being a very good wiccan for being so calm and nice and not pointing out that she was being condescending".  So yeah that doesn't put me in the best light either, this was before my lesson from this experience kicked in, also, I deflect a lot with sarcasm and humor, so that was actually said in a very pompous accent and followed by laughter.