New Page & More Than One Way To Learn From Tarot

I have added the Minor Arcana quick reference, I hope you find it helpful.  
 
Aside from question/answer and future planning.  Over time tarot can teach you things about yourself (either your good qualities or traits that slow you down).  If you notice a card or cards that seem to pop up in your personal readings frequently can show you these qualities or vices. 

For instance the Eight of Swords makes a regular appearance for me.  I have long sense been aware that I tend to over think things, and agonize over decisions; but it wasn't until this card began showing up in ever personal reading that I became more aware of how this trait (even though sometimes useful) hinders me on a regular basis.  
 

More on the side of qualities, the Empress card is a regular for me as well. 

So pay attention over time and watch for cards that come up consistently, and especially if they tend to come up in the same places in spreads.  Just don't over think every little thing, and let yourself get to the point where you expect that card or it will begin to throw you off.  It's important to clear your mind of expectations when focusing for a reading.

Luna & Cara: A Very Good Store

About 3 weeks ago Luna came over to ask if I wanted to go with them to an herbal store we had heard about in a town about an hour away.  It went really good and I plan on going back soon.  I don't know what to really say about it, I intend to go back as soon as I get a chance, and while I am there I will need to ask if the owner minds me mentioning it in detail on my blog.  The owner is openly practicing, but still I would like to have their permission first. 

I will say that the experience of finding one good resource in your area is a real boost.  It was just a very good experience and I am so glad that I have a place to go (and it helps that it is out of town) to find things I need, and be in the company of someone who has practiced much more than I have. 

Flexibility

As I have said before, I'm starting my second year studying wicca, so I won't claim to be an expert.  I'm definitely not trying to be a guide or teacher, and most definitely not 'preaching the word of paganism'.  I have worried sometimes that maybe this is breaking the speak little listen much, but I think I'm in the clear. Once again I will say that what I put up here are just my experiences and what I learned from them; it's not a gospel of Tempest that anyone should feel the need to follow or take as "this is the way to be wiccan" I don't think there is one way to be wiccan, and I definitely wouldn't want the responsibility of being in charge of what that would be. 

I am going to talk a little here about tool selection, and how that worked out for me.  One thing it took me a while to realize was; relax, be calm, don't stress out over if every tool you get is perfect as long as it feels right and works right.  Example, the broom, I tried very hard with the broom and maybe it's the culture I was raised in or whatever, but I struggled with it because I just couldn't seem to get comfortable with it.  I still want one and am even considering making one (and maybe if I do that then it will feel more natural to me once I put some creative energy into making it) but what I use instead of a broom right now are two fans.  Maybe a lot of wiccans would think that's crazy or inappropriate, so far it's been what feels natural to me.  

Another example would be bowls, I wanted matching bowls, specifically I wanted a bowl and chalice that matched.  That's way easier said than done (would have been easier done if I had access to clay and a kiln but I don't)  but I kept looking and looking until one day I found a bowl and bought it figuring I would just keep working to find a chalice to match.  Then I found a chalice that I really wanted to use and it hit me...does it matter if they match? No. All that looking and waiting, and in the end I didn't care.  I had to let go of the 'everything must match and be perfect and just so-so' because that in itself is a problem I have.  A problem of stalling and stalling and not getting started because I want everything perfect, when I know from experience that imperfect can be a situation to learn something very important.

A good chunk of the tools I'm using I did make myself because I like to do arts and crafty things and that's how I make it personal to me.  But the things I can't make (metal working and carpentry are not talents that I have)  I have to have a 'feeling' about.  I'm working on getting over the 'oooh so shiny' knee jerk reaction to things.  Many of the things I still needed have just come to me at random, from a friend, or even just finding things that I forgot that I had and realizing it's right for the purpose.  It's not to say it works like that all the time, and I don't count on it happening, but it's nice when it does.

Friends & Tarot

I've done readings on many of my friends.  Adrian has been my tarot test subject, especially when I first started out, he has a friend (who I haven't met) that is very good with tarot and knows it is important to practice, practice, practice.  He was also able to pass on advice from his friend to help me as I got started.   Other than Adrain, I have done a few readings for my husband (though I was worried about doing readings on him because it can be difficult to get a reading on anyone your life is so tied up with) and last New Years I offered anyone who wanted a "year-ahead" reading if they wanted it.  Bette was the first to volunteer and a few others at her party got one as well.  It was really good to get some experience reading on people I don't see all the time or know as well.  I also have tried some 'distance' readings, on some of my friends who live farther away (but I always ask them before I attempt a reading on them, I feel that's only fair, I don't want to do anything they would not be comfortable with).  

Once I got comfortable with tarot, I'm ashamed to say I slacked off on it a little.  So now I am trying to do readings at least 2 to 3 times per week to continue to sharpen my grasp on it. 

Adrian: I Can't Think Of A Catchy Title For This One

Not long after I started reading about wicca, I started spending more time talking to Adrian, before we had hung out a lot but not really talked as much.  I had just started trying meditation (something I am still not great at) and I remembered him saying something about his meditation.  So I asked him if he had any tips.  That's when I found out that he had studied wicca before but wasn't anymore, he still remembered some things from it.  He has become one of my friends that I can openly talk about what I'm struggling with or where I am at religion-wise.   

Adrian is the one that gave me a lot of help (and by that, I mean listened to me stress out incessantly) with the issue of how much if any, to tell my parents.  When I first asked him what he thought, he said, "family is everything, do what you think is best for them".  And while that didn't answer my question right away, it did get me thinking on the pro's and con's of this decision.  I'm not worried about them disowning me, I know they love me, I'm just not sure they like me.  I had to decided if the pro's to telling them were going to benefit them or just me.  Likewise I had to think about if the con's were just something I was hiding behind to avoid conflict. 

He listened to me agonize over this decision for a good 4 months.  (That's not to downplay other people's help and support, but you have to give credit where credit is due.)  In the end, my decision came from a compilation of his advice to do what would be best for them; and others advice that it was up to me, it was my business what I believe, and it all depends on how much them knowing/not knowing meant to me.  He was also the one that reminded me that, if I decided not to tell them just yet it didn't mean I could never tell them if the time felt right.

Aside from that specific situational, he has also shared with me what he remembers from when he studied, some of his experiences from that time, and keeps an eye out for resources I might find useful. 

Hubby's Totally Righteous Rant

When I told my husband I was starting this blog he wanted to know why I needed to change everyone's names.  I told him, "to protect myself and others".  I told him things I have heard from people at work and some of the initial responses I have gotten from friends before I explained to them the 'rules' of my faith.   This is an approximate retelling of the rant that followed.


Hubby:  When someone used to ask what I believed, I would say "I'm a Christian".  Then after I met more people of my faith and other faiths I would answer with "I follow the bible".  The more I find out about fanatical christian movements, and the more I hear christians throw hate around, and the more I see people using their faith to push people around, at this point I am almost ashamed to say I'm a christian.  NOT because I am ashamed of my faith or my god; but because I am sick of being lumped in with crazy, uneducated sounding, hate mongers.

My response was:  We are a great couple, neither of us want the neighbors to know what we believe.

That sounds depressing, but honestly, that cheered me up because it reminded me that every group, every faith, has stereotypes to overcome.

A Brief...Not So Brief...Ridiculously Long Overview

My husband is christian, he is also very accepting of me and my religion.  He looks at is this way: what he believes is right for him, and as long as what I believe isn't dangerous he thinks it is fine for me.  He is satisfied that I believe in something that gives me hope and makes me want to be a better person.  When I first started reading about wicca, his immediate response was somewhat along the lines of "aren't you a bit old and mature for teenage rebellion".  The words wicca and paganism brought up for him, memories of the kids in his high school who said they were wiccan to "make their goth darker".  I explained the bare basics of wicca as described in the books I have read, and he realized his first thoughts on it were just stereotypes.  Another thing I have done with him, to help him understand what I am thinking, is I keep a small journal for him, I update it from time to time on where I am mentally and emotionally in my studies on my faith.  I told him where it is and that he is free to read it any time he likes,  I don't know if he has read it or not, but if nothing else I think the honesty and openness I am willing to share has helped him.  Currently, he seems pretty much 100% supportive of me. 

I was raised in holiness doctrine.  My father is a preacher, my mother is a teacher.  At this moment, they do not know I am studying the wiccan faith, I have struggled with if/when I should tell them.  I know what the words paganism, wicca, witchcraft, etc bring to mind for many people, especially those of the christian faith.  I also know my parents see it as their personal responsibility to make sure my soul goes to heaven.  I know when, if ever, I do tell them they will find a way to blame themselves for it.  I am stuck between, I do not want to lie to them (they haven't asked me anything about my beliefs), and I do not want to hurt them.  After stressing over this for months, and asking many people's opinions  I have decided to wait on making that decision: in the next 1 to 2 years my husband and I will be moving out of state, I am waiting until we are settled in a more permanent life situation to decide which is kinder  to do.  Until then, unless I get some huge epiphany, I will just be myself with them and do my best to be a good daughter to them.

I have many friends all over the country and many of them know about my beliefs, a few of them share it, a vast majority of them accept it, and the rest of them tolerate it. The difference between accept and tolerate goes something like this: those who accept it, don't share my faith but they see it as a positive influence in my life, or respect my choice.  Those who tolerate it, disagree with me, are worried for me, but love me enough to know they cannot change me by force.

I'm not going to say much about my job; I work hard and I am well liked, but I am fairly sure that if my co-workers knew that would change. In fact, from things I have heard said, I am pretty sure I would end up fired for "unrelated" reasons.  It gives me lots of practice at speaking little and listening much.

Kentucky. My old Kentucky home, the land that I love so much.  As far as I can gather, is not a safe place for me to be an open wiccan.  I have a real fear of what could happen if the wrong person knows and decides to modernize the dark ages.  That's one reason for this blog, for others who live in areas that don't feel safe for us.  One moment I feel like, it's 2011, wicca is a government recognized religion, surely I can be out and be just fine; and then I listen to the conversations around me and realize, maybe times never really change that much.